This week I went back to a dark place I haven't been to for a long time.
A place where I wake up and feel paralyzed by the mere thought of having to get out of bed and function like I normally do.
A place where I just want to hide under the covers and for the world to go away and leave me alone until I am ready to come out again.
A place where I place judgement and criticism on myself for feeling like this - I should be fine, I should be ok, so why aren't I?
A place where the guilt for feeling all these things builds up into a debilitating knot in my stomach, making it harder to get up and face the day.
And so it goes, round and round in circles until I break the cycle and climb out of my bed, tackle a shower and get ready for the day.
Once I'm up and moving I'm fine, and get through the day like there was nothing wrong.
But the battle at the start of the day was real, it was tough and I don't know why it's come back now.
This morning was easier, but what tomorrow morning has in store I don't know. I just have to deal with each day as it comes until this passes, because I have faith it will.