I've got a concept that I don't think is unique to me, but I want to share with you.
I have this imaginary cup that holds my energy. This energy is used up and also topped up by spending time with other people, and I can also top it up by spending time on my own resting and restoring.
Whether the people I'm around top up or take from my energy cup depends on the type of interaction we have - if I spend time with someone who is going through a hard time, struggling with something and needs some of my energy to help them they will take from it. If they are 'flourishing' and putting out good vibes and energy they are more likely to top it up. In many of my relationships with people they both top up and take from my energy cup, and we have a very reciprocal relationship where we can top each other's energy up when the other needs it.
It also depends on the type of relationship we have, and can depend on the type of person they are. There have been relationships where a person is taking from my energy cup more than they are filling it up, creating an imbalance. When this happens over a long period of time I start to find that I feel drained whenever I spend time with these people, have little patience for them, or don't look forward to or enjoy spending time with them. Of course this isn't a nice feeling, as we all want to enjoy spending time with the people in our lives.
As I'm getting older and further along on my journey I'm learning to try and protect my energy and not give it out constantly until I'm left with a completely empty cup and have to try and top it up from scratch. This might mean limiting the amount of time I spend with some people, but doesn't mean that I don't love these people. I'm just careful to put myself first sometimes to protect my energy because it's so important to me to my mental well-being.
To help keep my energy cup full I also try and have time to myself every week to relax, read and keep up my self care with things like yoga. This all helps me be the happy, relaxed and generous Rach that I know the people in my life love.
Blessings x