I'm quite open about the fact that I put on weight when I'm on medication for anxiety. This has been a long standing thing, since I first went on medication when I was 20, my mum was the same, and I know some other people who have had similar experiences.
I'm over it!
I have never joined a gym before, but I joined a boxing gym that I love back at the start of September, but unfortunately a week later I was in a car accident which left me with some pretty severe brusing and sort ribs. Thankfully I'm back to my old self now and able to get back into the gym and I'm loving it.
But I'm the heaviest I've ever been.
This is a double edged sword for me. I have experienced pretty horrific panic attacks while not being on medication, and the thought of having those experiences again scares me. But with being on medication to keep my mental health balanced my weight has spiraled out of control which makes me extremely self conscious and negatively effects my confidence, and mental health in its own way.
So what do I do? Well I've given in to being on the medication and its effect on my body for years, but I'm over it and am at a point where I want and need to take the control back.
I have pretty good eating habits generally, I love to cook and eat well, but recently I've completely fallen off the wagon and haven't been taking care of my health through eating well. I can give lots of excuses about why this is, but that doesn't matter, the reality is I make the choice on what food I eat and I haven't been making good choices.
I'm sharing this with you so that if you, or someone you know, has or is experiencing anything similar you know you aren't alone, and as a way of holding myself accountable.
I have a beautiful friend coming on the journey with me and I'm looking forward to the next 6 months and how I will be feeling both physically and mentally.