Recently while pondering the opinions people have on choices I make as a mama these words dropped in for me…
It’s not you that’s broken and therefore can’t hear your instinct, your intuition, your higher self. It’s the words of others drowning out your own inner voice that creates doubt.
Oh my yes!!! I’ve always known what I need from within and as I look back over past experiences I can see this play out 🤷♀️
In a past relationship I knew instinctively for a long time that something wasn’t right. My gut instinct was so strong that sometimes I’d try to catch him out lying, even trying to follow him when he left or wait down the road from where I suspected he was living. But he was clever, manipulative and probably lucky that it took so long for me to find out the truth.
Intuition is a funny thing, I even had this weird ‘feeling’ sometimes that would make thoughts pop in that he was having multiple relationships, living multiple lives, but I’d tell myself that’s ridiculous, you only see that in the movies. Turns out it’s not just in the movies. It’s like something within me was connected to a higher source that knew the truth. But when I tried to discuss our relationship and how I was feeling he’d dismiss me, make out that I was creating issues where there were none, being dramatic and expecting too much from him. His words made me doubt myself and turned the volume down on my own voice.
After that experience I really beat myself up for not trusting myself, my intuition, and wasn’t sure how I’d ever trust myself again. I felt like such a fool. But with time, reflection, self love, grace, meditation, movement and releases I processed everything to move through it and out the other side I trust myself more than I ever have.
While that experience wasn’t nice, I think it taught me such an important lesson to bring into motherhood - to trust myself.
I’m so grateful for this lesson as it allows me to parent intuitively and responsively for my child. It’s not always easy and there have been moments where I’ve doubted myself, but for the most part I’m able to brush aside the comments and opinions of others and do what’s right for us. When I do start to drop into self doubt it’s because of the voices of others questioning or passing judgement.
What makes it harder to stay true to your intuition is that often the comments are coming from people close to us, that we love and respect. We don’t want to offend someone we love by dismissing their opinion, but while something may be someone else’s truth, that doesn’t make it your truth.
Most times they probably think they are coming from a place of love, but in my experience they are usually coming from a place of fear. Generally the fear of the unknown or fear of the judgment of others bu association.
What I’ve come to learn is that those fears aren’t mine to work through, and if something I do in my life makes someone else feel uncomfortable or “triggers” them, that is work they need to do, if they wish to.
I’d prefer someone lived their own truth 1000x over, even if it meant my ego was bruised.