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Stepping into my future

Two months ago I experienced a blessing I wasn't sure I would ever experience, but had always hoped for.  I found out that I'm pregnant, which filled me with joy and excitement.  If you've read my previous posts you will possibly know that I was in a non-healthy relationship for 9 years, and some might have thought I 'wasted' my best child bearing years.  If I'm honest I had wondered if I would meet someone I would want to spend my life with and create a family, or if th...

January 24, 2020

Manifestation

I've been focusing more and more on manifesting the life that I desire, and the more that I invest in this practice the more I am rewarded with beautiful things happening in my life. For me manifestation looks like two things in particular. Practicing gratitude, positive self talk and speaking in the affirmative to the universe. Someone said to me that the universe works in the affirmative, so if you say (whether it is self talk in your head, something you write, or say out loud) ...

November 28, 2019

Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome has been coming into my awareness a lot recently. This is something that I've struggled with for as long as I can remember, so I figured it was time I share my experiences and its affect on me. Even when I was growing up I used to feel like an imposter but back then it was about being an imposter in my group of friends. I would say that I was on the edge of the "cool group" at school, which often left me feeling like I was going to be '=found out, that peopl...

November 10, 2019

Taking control of my health back

I'm quite open about the fact that I put on weight when I'm on medication for anxiety. This has been a long standing thing, since I first went on medication when I was 20, my mum was the same, and I know some other people who have had similar experiences.  I'm over it!  I have never joined a gym before, but I joined a boxing gym that I love back at the start of September, but unfortunately a week later I was in a car accident which left me with some pretty severe brusing...

October 27, 2019

The consequences of the life we've created

Like most of my blog posts, this one is following a chat with a friend about the way we have changed over a relatively short period of time. When you think about it, the way we live has changed drastically over the last couple of hundred years. My generation is the first to grow up with computers, and our younger generations are the first to grow up with smart phones, social media and 24/7 connectedness.  But is this better? I feel like we are going to reach a defining moment in the ne...

October 12, 2019

Courageous Conversations

On Friday night I was a panelist at an event called Courageous Conversations as part of Toi Wahine Festival.  The panel consisted of Briony (life coach, change maker and challenge seeker), Jessica Quinn (motivational speaker, model and storyteller), Kelsy Scott (education coordinator, photographer and diversity celebrator), Shayma'a Arif (refugee and human rights lawyer, volunteer and house of peach founder), and myself - wow, what a group! We were brought together to share our experie...

September 25, 2019

Accepting the beautiful person you are

Do you ever have someone tell you what they think of you and just have it blow your mind? I was catching up with a friend today and I was talking to her about a workshop that I just attending to learn how to hold space for people.  For part of the workshop we had to pair up and spend four minutes speaking to our partner with them remaining neutral - no responding or expressions. I found the part of this exercise where I was speaking extremely uncomfortable. I was surprised at how difficult ...

September 10, 2019

Is equality just a dream?

Anyone who knows me well knows that I will stand up for anyone and fight for the equal rights of all. This has always been a part of me, and has caused many heated discussions with people over the years as I express my opinions around the rights of all. I recently read an article on Stuff about New Zealanders white anxiety which fired me up. The article talks about hate speech and crime. The journalist shares a conversation she recently had with a friend who read the manifesto of the man who kil...

August 22, 2019

Connecting with my spiritual guardians

Last night I attended another Cacoa and Sound Healing Ceremony at Sun Salute with Irma Schutte.  I've attended about 4-5 of these sessions and each one has been a different experience, and last night I had quite an intense experience.  When I arrived at the ceremony I felt a bit agitated and uncomfortable, but I just sat with it and tried not to focus on it or resist it.  As I sunk into the meditation I started to have a lot of positive affirmations pop into my mind - 'you are wor...

August 12, 2019

Know thy Chakras

Last weekend I had the lovely Sarah Vassella join me to run our 'Know your Chakras' workshop. I was so excited to hold this workshop, because I didn't know much about Chakras other than what I've picked up here and there through yoga and other things.  I'd heard that there are 7, that they are energy centres in the body, and they can become blocked but that was pretty much the extent.  Chakras are the various focal points in the subtle body used in a variety of ancient meditation pract...

July 25, 2019

Holding safe space

You might hear people, including me, talk about 'safe space' or 'holding space', and wonder what the hell that means, so I thought I'd share what it means for me. Over the years I've encountered and had relationships with lots of different people - all sorts of relationships, friendships, romantic relationships, being a daughter, sister, cousin and more - and through these relationships I've learnt that we all have a different energy and reason for 'being'.  Each interaction with the people...

July 9, 2019

My Energy Cup

I've got a concept that I don't think is unique to me, but I want to share with you. I have this imaginary cup that holds my energy. This energy is used up and also topped up by spending time with other people, and I can also top it up by spending time on my own resting and restoring.  Whether the people I'm around top up or take from my energy cup depends on the type of interaction we have - if I spend time with someone who is going through a hard time, struggling with something and needs ...

June 24, 2019

The comfort of routine/control

An old friend used to give me shit for my love of routine. She thought it was crazy that every Saturday morning I would do my groceries and come home to do my housework. For her these things would happen organically as they needed to.  I often felt shamed for how attached to these routines I was. It was like I was too rigid, not fun or spontaneous, too controlling.  And of course knowing what I know now and looking back I was using routine to give me a sense of control. I think th...

June 12, 2019

Goodbye May

I like to think I'm a 'cup half full' kinda person, but life is real and I'd be fooling myself if I didn't feel the shit feelings. May has been shit.  I went to a Cacoa and Sound Healing Ceremony, which was amazing, but I think it brought some things up to the surface, which isn't a bad thing, I just wasn't prepared for it.  I had a pretty full on menstrual cycle which left me feeling exhausted. May 2018 was pretty tumultuous for me after my long term relationship came to an end - in a...

May 30, 2019

The Good Stuff

Winter can be tough, we go into hibernation mode and start to isolate ourselves. This can start a bit of a spiral where the winter blues set in, so this winter I'm going to do my best to keep the good stuff in my life. Spending time with friends - potlucks, walks, lunches out and general catch ups.  To get outside when the sun is shining to feel the sun on my skin and get some vitamin D. Move and stretch my body with yoga and walks - I want to start going to a new yoga class a friend o...

May 26, 2019

Paralysis

This week I went back to a dark place I haven't been to for a long time.  A place where I wake up and feel paralyzed by the mere thought of having to get out of bed and function like I normally do.  A place where I just want to hide under the covers and for the world to go away and leave me alone until I am ready to come out again.  A place where I place judgement and criticism on myself for feeling like this - I should be fine, I should be ok, so why aren't I? A place where ...

May 15, 2019

What is failure?

On Monday night I went along to another Seed Waikato event - a Korero on Failure - and picked up some gold nuggets from hearing other people's experiences and beliefs when it comes to failure.  Failure is such a loaded word - that you didn't achieve something or weren't good enough or successful, but one of the gold nuggets I loved was that by failing to try you fail by default. I love this because any outcome, whether perceived positively or negatively, is just a perception. If y...

May 1, 2019

The black hole

“The doctor just didn’t know what to do with me”. "Our rate of maternal suicide is seven times that of the United Kingdom." "Māori mothers are especially vulnerable to suicide and mental health issues because of the disproportionate poverty they face. You watch in the media the shame and blame culture that’s around. I think many Māori are frightened to seek help." “I had to get to the point where I was having really bad thoughts before anyone would help me.” “I clearly remember t...

April 18, 2019

What's resilience have to do with it?

I've been asked to provide a workshop to a group of young woman on resilience and wellbeing, and in putting together some of my content I realised that this is a topic that I haven't shared here.  What is resilience? For me, and probably many others, resilience is the ability to bounce back when things get tough. To understand that the bad times are temporary and be able to keep the faith, feel the feels and work through any struggles and adapt so that I can return back to thriving, rather ...

April 9, 2019

Community Living

On the weekend I became part of a new community. This year I’ve enrolled in Te Ara Rēo Māori at Te Wananga O Aotearoa and on the weekend 70 students from three different classes came together at Raroera campus. I didn't know the majority of the people, and barely knew anyone on Friday evening when we arrived, and I felt a bit outside of my comfort zone. We came together to eat, learn, sing, sleep, help one another and developed great connections and relationships - whakawhanaunga. ...

April 1, 2019

The period beast

What I think of as my 'period beast' arrived this week, and I want to share this as I'm sure I'm not alone.  In the couple of days leading up to my period I feel like I go from a cool calm kitten into an agitated, irritable and impatient angry lion. For me I experience this through visualising things running up and down my back and seeing hundreds of thoughts zooming in front of my head like high speed trains passing each other on train lines, and I'm unable to slow them down.  When I ...

March 28, 2019

Juggling balls

You know that feeling where you're juggling many balls in the air and you feel like you're in the zone and you've got this, then one ball drops, then the next one and before you know it you can't keep a ball in the air? You're not alone.  I felt like I had everything under control, then I suddenly realised that balls are dropping. And while this isn't the worst thing in the world, it does make me start to feel like I'm failing and letting people down. Once I drop one ball they all star...

March 11, 2019

Grounding Practices

Over the last couple of years I've learnt more and more about the importance to 'ground' ourselves.  "Grounding is an exercise that connects you energetically to the earth. It allows you to be more authentically in your body, in the present moment, and receive nourishing energy. Grounding allows your body to use all your talents and gifts, know their value in the world and give birth to your visions and goals." There are lots of ways you can 'ground' yourself, but one of my f...

March 4, 2019

Riding the waves

Things have been really well with me. I've been feeling so grateful for everything in my life and the beautiful people I'm surrounded by. But this doesn't mean that I don't hit bumps along the way. Because I've been feeling so good, I was knocked back a bit on the weekend when I wasn't feeling so good. I had this anxious knot in my stomach, was feeling a bit 'out of it' and just out of sorts. I pushed through it on Saturday, heading out to Raglan to catch up with a friend for a walk on the beach...

February 28, 2019

Authenticity

Authenticity is a buzz word that gets thrown around, but I had an experience recently which resonated authenticity with me.  Growing up high school was...interesting. I was in a group of friends where I didn't really feel like I belonged. They were the 'cool group' and I always felt like the imposter on the sidelines.  Over the four years of high school, along with all of the other things that happen in our teens and trying to figure out who we are, I developed a pretty significant imp...

February 21, 2019 Posts 1-25 of 61 | Page next
 

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